Why would a robot need to drink?

No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own! Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now 'I'' have to pay ''them'!Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! Also, we're dying! Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree. Aww, it's true. I've been hiding it for so long.

Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! It must be wonderful. Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way? You're going to do his laundry?

Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head." Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped.

Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love! Who are you, my warranty?! Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love! Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.

Oh, I think we should just stay friends. Pansy. Yeah, lots of people did. No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires! Ummm…to eBay?

Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. Really?! Large bet on myself in round one.

Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer. Oh right. I forgot about the battle. That's the ONLY thing about being a slave.

And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. There, now he's trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn't make sense.

It's a T. It goes "tuh". Ah, the 'Breakfast Club' soundtrack! I can't wait til I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff! Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy. Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!

Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. I can explain. It's very valuable.

Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions? I'm a thing. Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Fetal stemcells, aren't those controversial?

Really?! In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now 'I'' have to pay ''them'!

Paru le: 12/07/2019

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